11 Questions Every Leader Should Ask Their Team (But Most Never Do)

I regularly ask team members and leaders: "What energises your team members? What drains them?"

The response? Silence. They've often worked together for years but have no idea.

Most workplace conversations stay surface-level and task-focused. We talk about deliverables, not what drives people. Deadlines, not what exhausts them.

This comes at a cost: A manager recently told me their top performer quit. "I had no idea they were exhausted," they said. "They were always delivering and never complained." The reality – they were managing deliverables, not leading the person.

Real trust, psychological safety, and connection come from actually knowing what matters to your team.

Here are 11 questions that build genuine understanding:

- What aspects of your work matter most to you?

- What core values guide your decisions at work?

- What currently excites you most?

- How do you manage your energy?

- What's the most challenging part of your role right now?

- What drains your energy at work?

- How do you prefer to receive recognition and feedback?

- How do you like to share information—verbally, in writing, or visually?

- What does success look like for you in the next 2-3 years?

- What conditions help you do your best work?

- What haven't I asked that I should have?

These aren't questions to save for an annual review or team bonding day. They're for ongoing conversations that show you actually care about who your team members are—not just what they deliver.

Which question will you ask this week to build trust and connection with your team?